05 August 2010

beginning this travel blog...

The main goal for the two weeks ahead is to minimize my belongings.  Thankfully, my parents have offered to let me store a few things with them.  It’s odd how I — and I suppose quite a few other humans — collect “things” so quickly, and how I keep collecting, and keeping, and lugging it all around as if they are things I cannot breathe without.  I don’t mean to say that I don’t enjoy material belongings, or that I don’t appreciate and enjoy luxury items.  I do.  I’ve been gifted with kitchen and cooking utensils way finer in quality than I need, but the foodie in me loves owning and using them, so they will be put in storage.  What IS astounding to me is that everything I owned fit in a Nissan Sentra during the Summer of 2008.  And now it would take a small moving truck.
Pricing and selling my unnecessary belongings has been eye-opening.  I do not need to spend money on much of what I have spent money on, and keeping things just to keep them … I don’t want to do that.  Living in a large, dirty, crowded city seems to accelerate my want for external stimuli, seems to cloud my internal rhythm and self awareness.  If that isn’t the case — something I have been doing seems to accelerate that want, seems to cloud those rhythms.  I might be wrong about what is acting as a catalyst, but my instincts still tell me to get out in the world, in this traveling way, while I can.  My instincts tell me to uproot and move, to see what I want to see before I have spent the entire middle part of my life being and becoming more bored and discontented.
I am not particularly interested in an office career – in fact, I am not interested at all.  I am not interested in spending way too much of my income on rent, or on a mortgage.  I am not interested in staying in one place for a long time, and I am not interested in joining a country club.  I would like to see way more than I have seen of the United States, and I would love to travel across international borders.  I can’t believe that this is the choice I’m making.  It seems insane and rings alarm bells in my head at times.  Other times, I feel pure excitement, and exhilaration.  I don’t know if I even believe myself – if I believe that this is really happening?  The three of us just bought an annual camping permit for the National Parks.  Eighty bucks.  We were joking that it is our rent for the next year … but honestly … it could be.  This could be the beginning of adopting a whole new lifestyle.  Will I be living in an RV in the next five years?
For now … sleeping in tents.  One car.  New-ish relationship and one mutual friend.  Trying to make money on the road.  It seems daunting at times, overwhelming for sure.  Not homeless, address-less.  Panic sends waves through me unexpectedly.  What am I afraid of?  We are going to live and eat cheaply.  I want to take pictures of the Grand Canyon at sunset, sunrise.  I want to camp in the woods and to go fishing and to live simply.  I want to be outside during the majority of my days.  I want to expose myself to silly fears so that they can be squashed, deflated, forgotten and replaced with an understanding of my own self reliance, strong intuitive muscles, resourcefulness.  These are values that are important to me, ideas that embrace something very natural within me.  I want to live simply … I want to see beautiful landscapes, people, different cultures, different towns.  I want to work different jobs, to write and journal and draw.
What am I afraid of?  I keep asking myself and then immediately avoiding that question.  It’s nothing, really.  How I’m going to make money.  If I’m going to stay safe.  What other people think about my choice.  Silly.  Where there’s a will, there’s a way.  This seems like an ultimate exercise in trusting myself, in trusting my intuition, my desires, wants.  What reason do I have to stay in Orlando?  I can’t name one that rings true to me, not one.
“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.” -Henry David Thoreau

3 comments:

  1. I wish I had people to do this with...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Welcome to the other side, Andrea! I look forward to following your adventure & seeing where it takes you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Life is a matter of choice... we make our own destiny. I strongly believe in that thought. We should design our own path the way we wanted it to be. We should do what we want or what makes us happy. No one has the right to dictate us what to do but of course with the guidance still of important people.

    ReplyDelete